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Nouns:

A STUPID FOOLISH PERSON:
addlepate
airhead
am haaretz (Yiddish = ignoramus)
ass
asshole
BF (bloody fool)
berk
Berkeley hunt
Berkshire hunt
birdbrain
blockhead
bonehead
boob
boofhead
bozo
brenda
bubblehead
bugs
busher
cement-head
chowder-head
chucklehead
clod
clodpoll
clown
cluck
clunk
coot
crackpot
crapbrain
deadhead
dickhead
dildo
dill (Australian)
dingaling
dingbat
diphead
dipshit
dodo
dope
dork
dorkbrain
drongo (Australian)
Dublin University graduate
dum-dum
dumb-ass
dumb-bell
dumbellina
dumb fuck
dumbhead
dumbo
dummy
dumbski
dunderhead
fathead
flipwreck (Australian)
FNG (fucking new guy)
fruitcake
fuckhead
fuckwit
galah (Australian)
gig (Australian)
gink
git
goober
goof
gook
goop
greener
greenhorn
hammerhead (Black)
head-banger
herbert
horse's ass
horse's hangdown
ig man (Black)
ignant (Black)
Irving
klutz
kook
lame
lamebrain
log
loogan
loon(y)
lug
lunchbox
lunk
lunkhead
meathead
mental job
mo-mo
momo
mug
mule
musclehead
mutt
nana
ning-nong (Australian)
nit
nitwit
nong (Australian)
no-no
noodle
numbnuts
numbskull
nutcake
nutter
pendejo (Spanish)
pinhead
poon (Australian)
poop
poophead
prat
prawnhead (Australian)
pud
puddinghead
quashie (West Indian)
ring-ding
rookie
room to rent
rube
schlemiel (Yiddish)
schlub (Yiddish)
schnook (Yiddish)
screwball
section eight
semolia (Black)
shitkicker
shlepper (Yiddish = stupid oaf)
sickie
silly
silly-billy
simp
spaz
squarebrain (Black)
stumer
stupe
stupe-head
stupenaigle
stupid fuck
thickie
thicko
three-dollar bill
three-toed sloth
tool
toolhead
twit
veg
wet foot
wethead (Black)
whacko
whizpop
wienie
wise
zipalid
schoolbook chumpo (Black = one who is intellectual but not street wise)

Verbs:

be boneheaded
be sapbrained, etc. see adjectives
to be a dickhead
to be a dorkbrain
to be a dumbo

TO DO SOMETHING STUPID
do the crazy act
fuck up
make a bloomer
make a dumb play
make a prick of oneself
screw up

Adjectives:

blockheaded
blubberbrained
boneheaded
bonkers
chuckleheaded
clueless
cuckoo
daffy
daffydown dilly (rhyming slang = silly)
daft
dead between the ears
dead from the neck down
dumb
dumbass
dingy
dopey
dorky
fatheaded
flaky
foggy
goofy
goopy
green as owl shit
half-baked
jugheaded
King Dick (rhyming slang .=thick)
lame
lamebrained
lunchy
lunkheaded
muttonheaded
nitwitted
not all there
not ready for people
off one's trolley
old enough to know better
ossified
out to lunch
pig ignorant
piss ignorant
sap-headed
silly as a two bob watch (Australian)
soft (in the head)
slow on the trigger
thick
untogether
wet behind the ears
young in the head (Black)

Adverbs/Phrases:

PHRASES

A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A few peas short of a casserole.
A sandwich short of a picnic
All foam, no beer.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Can't tell owlshit from putty without a map
Chimney's clogged.
Couldn't find his ass with both hands at high noon
Couldn't find one's way to first base
Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions printed on the heel
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Doesn't have a clue
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't have the foggiest
Doesn't know a mule's ass from a lemon
Doesn't know beans from barley (bullfrogs)
Doesn't know beans from coffee beans
Doesn't know cow chips from kumquats
Doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain
Doesn't know enough to pound sand in a rathole
Doesn't know frog-shit from pea-soup
Doesn't know from Adam
Doesn't know from beans
Doesn't know from the man in the moon
Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground (from his elbow, from third base, from a double-barreled shotgun)
Doesn't know his butt from a gourd
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
Doesn't know owl shit from putty without a map
Doesn't know pea turkey
Doesn't know sheepshit from cherry-seed
Doesn't know shit from Shinola
Doesn't know t'other from which
Doesn't know up from down
Don't know dung from wild honey
Don't know 'here' from sic 'em
Don't know sic 'em
Don't know 'sic 'em' from 'go get 'em'
Dumber than a box of hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Fuzakenaideyo! (Japanese = don't be stupid)
Has a room-temperature I.Q. (about 70)
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Have one's head up one's ass
Have shit for brains
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
He's a dime short of a dollar
He's a few ants short of a picnic
He's a sandwich short of a picnic (Australian)
He's several atoms short of a molecule
He's so dumb he thinks cunnilingus is an Irish airline
He's so dumb he would argue with a milepost
He's so dumb that if you put his brains in a bee, it would fly backwards
He's three db down (recording engineers; db = decibel)
He's three pickles short of a barrel
He's too dumb to haul out his jock to piss (without a button-hook)
He's two cans short of a sixpack
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
His bread ain't done
His elevator doesn't go to the penthouse (top)
His head is so hollow he's got to talk with his hands to get away from the echo
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
If she was any dumber, you'd have to water her.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers are farther apart than most.
Isn't ready for people
Looks like he wouldn't piss if his pants were on fire.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Needs one more neuron
No grain in the silo.
Nobody living upstairs, nobody moving in
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several atoms short of a molecule
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
She's a few coupons short of a pop-up toaster
She's two cherries short of a fruitcake
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
So dumb he couldn't piss out of a boat
So dumb he couldn't piss without a button hook
Surfing in Nebraska.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
The lights are on but nobody's home
The lights are on, but nobody's home
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
Thinks it's just to pee through
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Two cherries short of a fruitcake
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

STUPID BLONDES:
(In England - Essex girls)
A brunette between two blondes: an interpreter
Blonde's mating call: 'I can't believe how drunk I am'
Brunette's mating call: 'When's that blonde bitch gonna leave.'
Why do blondes have TGIF printed on their shoes: Toes Go In first.
What's a blonde say after having sex? Thanks guys.
Why blondes don't like gang bangs: too many thank-you letters to write.
How a blonde turns on the light after sex: opens the car door.
What a blonde wears behind her ears to make herself more attractive: her legs.

 

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