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Nouns:

DOCTORS
baby catcher (obstetrician)
camel driver (foreign doctors esp. MidEast)
carpenter (orthopedist)
comprehensive physician (proctologist - he looks at the hole person)
croaker
gas passer (anesthetist)
guessing doctor (internist)
gynai (gynecologist)
ice tong
medico
pill pusher (internist)
plumber (urogogist)
quack
cock doctor (venerealogist)
gum gardener (dental hygenist)
tooth carpenter (dentist)
veterinarian (doctor who considers his patients of less than human intelligence, also botonist, geologist)
witch doctor (internist)

SURGEONS:
blade
butcher
cutting doctor
knife happy (overeager surgeon)
Mack the Knife
meat cutter
sawbones (poor surgeon)

PSYCHIATRISTS, PSYCOLOGISTS:
headshrinker
looney doctor
nut doctor
shrink
spook
trick cyclist
wigpicker

PATIENTS (BY DOCTORS)
appies (appendectomy patients)
basket case (has multiple injuries or quadruple amputee)
blue bloater (fat patient with emphysema)
crock (hypocondriac)
dispo, dump (has no real medical problem)
ethanolic (alcoholic)
F.O.S. (full of shit - literally - severe constipation)
fruit salad (group of stroke patients)
gobbler (patient with trivial complaints)
gomer (long time patient with trivial complaints-stands for 'Get out of my Emergency Room')
gork (mentally deficient)
hospital hobo (suffers from MunchhAustralianen's syndrome-dramatic feigned illnesses)
hotdog (flamboyant or bizarre patient)
H.Y.S. (hysterical)
lunger (has lung disease)
O.D. (despised patient abb: overdose)
organ recital patient (everything is wrong)
P.F.O. (Australian = chronic drunk from Pissed, Fell Over)
pink puffer (thin patient with emphysema)
P.O.S. (=piece of shit, patients who don't take care of themselves)
P.P. (professional patient)
P.P.P. (=piss poor protoplasm, patient severely debilitated requiring surgery)
quack (fakes symptoms)
reeker (dirty patient with B.O.)
rose (cosmotose, expected to die)
rose garden (group of unconscious patients)
schizo (=schizophrenic, any mentally abnormal)
screamer (hysterical)
SHPOS (=sub-human piece of shit, never follows medical instructions)
SICU (surgical intensive care unit)
stroker (has had stroke)
subway rider (goes to emergency rooms to get free subway fare home)
ten F (typical gall bladder patient -fat, fair fecund, fortyish, flatulent female with foul frothy floating feces)
TOAD (trashy old alcoholic derelict)
trainwreck (very sick usually comatose)
turkey (trivial medical complaint)
two carbon abuser (alcoholic)
vegetable (neurologically depressed, also carrot, potato, cucumber)
vegetable garden (group of unconscious or semi-conscious patients)
whiney gyne club (gynecological patients whining about not being able to urinate, genitals hurt, etc.)
zap

PATIENTS WITH FAKE COMPLAINTS:
crock
crocky
illness addict
psychoceramic
rotating patient

OPERATIONS, PROCEDURES:
Andy Gump (cancer of the jaw)
dirty case (op. in which infection is found)
dusting and cleaning (D.&C.-dialation and curettage - cleaning of uterus)
finger wave (rectal examination)
peri care (cleaning vulva after delivery)
rosebud (opening of intestine)
3 H. enema

Verbs:

fertilize (water) one's vegetables (to order intravenous fluids or tube feedings)
water the garden (to change intravenous bottles)
zap (to give electroshock treatment)

Adjectives:

gorked out (semi-cosmotose)
have a room-temperature IQ (stupid)
loxed (= lack of oxygen, decreased state of
consciousness)
no squash (condition of irreparable brain damage
stroked out (in state of decreased consciousness)
suffering from FITH syndrome (Australian = fucked in the head, i.e. stupid or demented)

Adverbs/Phrases:

I just boxed the carcinoma patient. (refers to death)

 

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